Bring Cash, Be Nice
On bars and gen z social discourse.

"Does Gen Z Drink Right?" is kind of the perfect generational discourse. There's, say, a New York Times article about it and popular tweets. Then there's a swift backlash to those statements about how drinking is a social ill and how there are safety concerns and how nobody has any money. Like with most points of Gen Z discourse, you can break most things down to finances, fear-mongering and/or anxiety rooted in becoming an adult in a world with high expectations of convenience. It's also a sister to my favorite unwinnable discourse ever: What Happened To Third Spaces?!
The financial aspect is a bigger part of the most recent NYT article about the tabs than people may want you to think. Lots of people feeling like it gives them the control. I have personally never found that budgeting is easier if I pay as I go the way I would while drinking in Europe with their tap your card across the bar and walk away system. Maybe other people disagree. Budgeting is more about how your brain works, though. I just kinda like to know the full total. Paying in cash at a bar is usually the best way for me to not overspend if I have a hard limit, but even that is just a different way to get to the same end as a tab. I know what the ending number is.
More than any of this, I wouldn't ever pay as I go with a card because I like to have a good time and I don't want to spend half my evening waiting around for a receipt at a busy bar. I also can justify the money I spend on alcohol because I don't smoke or vape and weed makes me feel bad for three days afterward. Also my friends are normal and we buy each other drinks and lunch and coffee and it's all beautiful.
I do think this internet discourse exposes something huge about the social anxiety created by our current moment of convenience, though. I see myself in it in some ways. I imagine paying as you go does help you budget if you don't know how much a well mixed drink costs and are too nervous to ask the bartender. I think there is anxiety in specifying a Tito's and Soda, too, but my crusade against people who think they can tell the difference between Tito's and well vodka will never get through anybody's head.
I'm always really drawn into posts I'll see about how nobody teaches you how to order drinks. I disagree with that, but you do kind of have to be friends with people who are older than you for someone to "teach" you that. The first person who ever taught me about ordering drinks was a guy I went to college with who was a few years older than me and all my friends. He was a bartender and had his own real apartment and just the way he spoke about drinks taught me a lot. My sister was a bartender so I learned a lot there, too. Mostly about what I don't like, but that's as valuable. It took me until I spent a lot of time hanging out with men ten years older than me when I was 24 that you could get a beer and a shot without downing the shot in one go. You can just sit there and sip the whiskey if you want to. Never even occurred to me.
I sympathize with feeling anxious about not knowing what you like or not knowing what to expect, but I think having any kind of taste – not necessarily good taste, but a taste – is more about paying attention and being willing to just decide without too much overthinking. It's not really about being taught. Obviously the other aspect is always being able to see a fully written out menu on your phone or, even more, always making choices on a screen via delivery apps or toast tab restaurants. All of it has decimated the feeling that you should have to ever not know.
Most of this stuff is just a combination of never needing to walk into public spaces without knowing what to expect and a social internet culture that is invested in convincing everybody they need a guide to how to be interesting/hot/cool/whatever you deem desirable. It feels like there is a huge pressure to be Right all the time, or at least never be wrong. Unfortunately, having a go-to drink at a bar or at a coffee shop has always been more about just picking something and moving forward. Just gotta accept that it's fine to not know if you'll like something. Realistically, though, the best books I read are the ones that jump out to me when actually browsing. The best wine I've ever had has just been whatever I thought looked good. The best music is the music that I feel called to on a more innate level. It's usually not about picking the exact right thing, it's about giving up that control. Sometimes it's even about learning to like something or trusting your instincts. It's also, usually, fine to just ask a question.
There is a lot of anxiety around talking to bartenders in particular that you hear about if you look into any big Gen Z focused conversation. Mostly the response to that is dominated by the whole "Screens Are Killing Social Interaction" thing, which is kind of true, but there's a more interesting aspect that I anecdotally experience more. There is a culture of people who want to be God's Favorite Customer in a way that, to me, feels much more responsible for that anxiety.
There is a reluctance to want to ever "inconvenience" service workers, but the anxiety leads to thinking that communicating at all with a bartender is inherently an inconvenience. Again, it feels like an obsession with wanting to never be wrong. If it's super busy, maybe keep the Figuring Out Your Taste questions to yourself and always be polite and considerate, but most bartenders are nice people. When I was a barista it was way more annoying to deal with people who were overly self conscious about being a customer than people who would ask me what sort of drink I liked best. I hated the waffling about how much someone would HATE to ask me to do something they're going to ask me to anyway. Obviously it's not the worst kind of customer, but I really don't need the self flagellation. Just say what you want to say.
Lots of service workers will talk to you about drinks if there isn't a ton going on. You should tip them generously because that's part of the social contract here, but it'll be better for everybody if you just approach the world with the perspective that most people are nice if you are considerate to them.
The other night I went to my favorite bar. It was relatively early and it was a week night so it wasn't very busy. It's my favorite bar because they have a CD jukebox and older movies on the tvs and, most importantly, it's close to where I live.
The bartenders there are kind of gruff older dudes, but when I asked about the how often the jukebox was changed he gave me a pretty in depth explanation. He essentially told me that most stuff that survives is what isn't that popular because you get sick of the hits when you work there. He was tired of the Beach Boys songs one of the guys down the bar kept putting on, so that one probably won't last. He likes the control of the CD jukebox. He hates the internet jukeboxes. As an idea, I couldn't agree more, but it does help that the jukebox at that bar is pretty hilariously tailored to stuff I'll like to hear at a bar. I can always put on Wednesday or Charli xcx or Los Campesinos! or Caroline Polachek or something like that.
That night I played MJ Lenderman and Hold Steady songs with the 2 singles I didn't use to tip.
I was thinking while I sat there about the fear mongering connected to going out to the bar. There is a fear mongering epidemic going on online, but I feel pretty safe in a casual bar despite being pretty anxious about being out lately. I think that comfort was more taught to me than anything about actually drinking. It's not even really about drinking, it's just a nice and easy place to sit a lot of the time. It's nice to be around the people. I think you have to think it's nice to be amongst people broadly or you'll never enjoy being alive.
I think the ritual of being in a bar is ultimately just romantic and cool. I think it's kind of sad to hear the way some young people – both that I see online and that I've spoken to in person – bristle against the structure of it or seem afraid of it. It just doesn't have to be hard.
Bring cash, be nice.
I put out a new issue of my zine Portable Model a little while back! If you're interested in music writing, please check it out! It's about the last 5 years of music. There are still physical copies, but now you can buy a PDF copy for just $8! Wow!
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Miranda Reinert is a music adjacent writer, zine maker, podcaster and law school drop out based in Chicago. Check out PDFs of most of my zines at the link on the top of the screen. Follow me on Twitter or Bluesky to keep up on the next time I write about online discourse or whatever: @mirandareinert. This blog does have a paid option and I would so appreciate any money you would be willing to throw me! You may also send me small bits of money at @miranda-reinert on venmo/on Paypal if you want. As always, thanks for reading!
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